For some reason or other, Joanna continues to set aside a couple of pages at the back of every magazine issue for me to share my take on the theme. Hoping, I’m sure, that I’ll say something smart or inspiring before you close this thing for good. I’m not as involved in the day-to-day production of the magazine as she is, so I’m grateful to have this playground to pen a few lessons I’ve learned or I’m still learning in my life.
And, being that it’s the very last story you’re likely to read, wisdom seems like the thing I ought to try to offer you.
Wisdom—where to find it, how to hold onto it, who to give it to—has been a pursuit of mine since I was a kid. Like the folks you see at the park or the beach with their metal detectors sweeping the sand, searching and searching until one day that thing starts beeping like crazy, that was and is me, always on the hunt for something worth unearthing. As a young boy, I was out there with my sensor, scanning my little corner of the world for examples of people I thought might hold the great secrets of the universe, people who I thought carried the wisdom that could get me to where I wanted to go.
I’d gotten it into my head that only a select few could hold such treasure, and I sought out the ones who looked like they might. What I’d call the “wise old folks” of our community. The kind of people others told me I’d be wise to follow. And if the timing was right, when I’d spot one of them, I wouldn’t waste a second to step up, ask what I could, and pray they’d humor me.
Looking back, I think I was operating off the advice a lot of us hear: Follow the herd you want to be part of. You’ve probably received some version of this. “Surround yourself with the right people who can help you get where you want to go” or “Get close to those who are living the life you dream of.” Makes sense for a minute. But not for much longer than that.
The thing is, I’m about the same age as those “wise old folks” I used to follow around. This November, I’ll turn 50 years old. That’s half a century that I’ve occupied a place on this Earth. I started working so hard, and so fast, at such a young age—always racing some invisible clock—I sort of figured that by 50 I could have lived a thousand lives. Surely, five decades would be enough time to collect all the wisdom of the world, all those secrets I’d wanted to search for. Surely, I figured, by age 50 I’d be a “wise old man” myself.
Now, I can say with complete confidence that I’ve got the old part down. So, if you’ll humor me, I’m going to take my shot at being wise.
Here’s what I’ve learned about wisdom: It isn’t gained by following the few, but rather, by tuning in to the collective. To say it another way, wisdom isn’t earned when we’re attuned to the “right” people. It’s earned when we’re attuned to people— period. And another thing: From my experience, no single person can hold the secrets to the universe except God, and I wised up enough to know better than to pull at the thread of His mystery a long time ago.
"Here’s what I’ve learned about wisdom: It isn’t gained by following the few, but rather, by tuning in to the collective."
You could choose to frame your perspective based on sameness, but I can tell you that well dries up quick, and what you’re left with is nothing more than an echo chamber. But open yourself up to making connections en masse and what you gain is a compilation of experiences—dynamic enough to glean wisdom you didn’t even know to look for. It might come from the unlikeliest of places. From someone you don’t know well or who has a completely different background from yours. From an unexpected conversation or an interruption that, if we let it, becomes something more.
This, I think, is the secret door to real wisdom. Rather than operating as followers, we can be more like pollinators, picking up ideas from one spot and carrying them to another. So that rather than going through life skimming for the “right” people to share our time with, we see the merit of what snowballs. When we let more people in, we’re all better for it.
Bottom line: If you’re interested in wisdom, you’ve got to be interested in genuine connection, the kind that has no direction in mind other than closer. That’s it. That’s my big advice. Be curious. Engage with people you know and people you don’t. Listen, and then listen closer. Tune in to people— period. I believe we’ve all got something to offer one another. If you believe that too, then let’s live in such a way that proves us both wise.
